I have since been thinking about what I said to her, and over my own experiences. I'm going to share some of them with you today...
My first pregnancy was a fairly good one. I was very very sick for the first 3-4 months, but otherwise pretty uneventful. Second pregnancy, had a little bit of blood pressure issues, not too bad and slight gestational diabetes. This labor was the bomb though! 2 hours and 40 min from first pain to born. (Dr. was mean and impatient, but we made it.) But I must add, he was 7 days overdue, and the dr. was pushing me to be induced. She had set a date. I called my mom, "I really don't want to be induced, I just want it to happen." Her and my grandmother went to prayer, and that night, the day before the scheduled inducing, I went into labor! God had answered prayer!
A couple years later we decided we wanted number 3. I seemed to be having difficulty conceiving for some reason. My monthly was being irregular which was not normal for me and I honestly didn't know what was going on. I had finally made a Dr. apt to try to figure out what was going on.
In the meantime, one day at church I felt inspired to be anointed and prayed for. I don't think I gave any details to the ministry, but while they were praying I literally felt what felt like an adult size hand rub across the INSIDE of my abdomen. I knew then that God had touched whatever was wrong. The next week was my dr.'s appointment. First thing they done was a urine sample. A few min later the Dr. came in and said, "Congratulations! You are pregnant!" Again God answered prayer.
This pregnancy was a little more difficult. I had major blood pressure issues, severe migraines, and gestational diabetes. About 4 weeks before due date, dr. put me in the hospital on bed rest. She was trying to get me a few more days then wanted to induce me b/c I was toxemic. Again, an inducing date was set. Again...we went to prayer. The middle of that night...(the day before set date...again...) my water broke. They did end up having to start a very small amount of Pitocin b/c water had been broken for several hours and I wasn't doing much anything else. But that was all it took, just the smallest amount of Pit and we were off. 4 hours later, a 5lb. 3oz...baby boy was here!
Now don't be haters, but I never had an epidural with any of mine...there wouldn't have been time if I had wanted one...and I was told that if I had gotten one it probably would have slowed things down. I also will say, I do not for the life of me understand the women that WANT to be induced. My 3rd had the smallest amount of Pitocin and that was the WORST labor pains EVER...and I had back labor with them all! The pains were definitely magnified! That is true!
Since number 3, I have had 7 miscarriages, one of those we are 95% sure was a set of twins. The last one I had, the Dr. was convinced was a tubal, b/c they could not find the baby in an ultrasound. Of course they wanted me to take medicine to "dissolve" it, but I just couldn't do it. They had me nervous...We went to prayer...called others for prayer...and the night before Mother's Day I completely miscarried. I sent my Mother a Mother's Day gift that year. She has plenty of babies to rock and cuddle in Heaven!
But I'm telling you, all these events, not to mention other things in our lives that can be crucial, have made my husband and I who we are! It has drawn us close...so very close. These hard things either make you or break you.
There are a couple key things I would offer as advice for these hard, tear jerking, heart breaking situations.
1. Pray...pray together...
2. Communicate...communicate to each other HONESTLY how you feel. Don't be afraid to say how you feel b/c you don't want to upset the other. It is so important that you understand how each other feels. I know when I had the first miscarriage, I didn't realize for a few weeks, that my husband felt guilty. Felt like it was his fault...that he had somehow hurt the baby during an intimate moment. As soon as I understood that, I was able to help him understand how that was not his fault.
3. Listen/Understand...Listen to the others feelings, and try to understand them. If you can try to understand where they are coming from then you can learn to understand how to work through these situations.
4. Always remember that everything happens for a reason and even though we may never understand the reason(s) here on earth, they will bind you and your spouse closer together if you will let it!
Don't do these things and they will drive you away from each other. We have seen it over and over and over! In the CF community we have watched marriages split up and fall apart time and time again...but that is another story for another day!
Sometimes it's not easy,
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